off topic !!

[UtahRob]

Yesterday morning was one of the toughest days of my life . As some of you may know . 4 years ago i had to quit my job ( truck driver for 27 years ) and move my mother in with my family , to be her care giver 24/7 . For the last 4 years i have watched my mother decline from 135 lbs to 90 lbs , she is 5'11'' . She has bad dementia . Well yesterday i had them ( hospice ) check her for a bladder infection and it proved positive . The Dr said that it would be a good way to let her go and asked if i wanted to treat her . With tears going down my face and looking at my mother, ( all skin and bones) and smiling at me ( dang i wish she had not been smiling at me ) i said no we should not treat her , so i now get to watch her die in the next 10 days to ??? , I know it the best thing for her , she's is in no pain and they gave me Meds to make her bladder numb . This really sucks !! Watching and helping your parents die is a tough one . My dad died from ALS just before my mother came down with dementia so i have been down this road before . Very sorry if i have come across RUDE or cranky in the last few days or even the last few years .

Sorry again ,

RobK.

 

[elite-50]

Hang in there Rob, I went through the same thing with both my Mom and Dad. It is really hard to understand why things like this happen but happen they do and we must some how struggle through. My thoughts are with ya.

 

[rks1949]

Rob,my heart goes out to you! I went through almost the same thing with my Mother,but I didn't have to make a choice,that would be even harder. Watching her fade away was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I was helpless, nothing could be done,and I didn't like it! I'll keep you,and your Mother in my prayers. Ron

 

[UtahRob]

Hang in there Rob, I went through the same thing with both my Mom and Dad. It is really hard to understand why things like this happen but happen they do and we must some how struggle through. My thoughts are with ya.

Thank you very much !!!

Last night sure sucked , i could not sleep and just paced the floor all night wondering if i did the right thing . My mother is such a sweet person and smiles at me every time i enter the room . The only thing she can say is I LOVE YOU . which is great . But boy after yesterday every time she says that , i feel like such a jerk , She smiles and says i love you as i am letting her die . i know its the right thing ,KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT . I just hope she passes on 'SOON' in the night while she is sleeping . I was holding my dads hand for the last few hrs of his life and not so sure if i want to go through that again .

 

[UtahRob]

Thanks guys !!!

Taking care of my mother full time has been a real blessing too . i have learned so much .
I am WAY more patience and understanding than i was . My Kids ( a adults now ) say i have change . FOR THE BETTER !! I think she has gone through these things FOR ME so i can learn and grow and i am so so very thankful for that . Its going to be weird when she is gone , when i had her in for respite the 5 days i was elk hunting , every evening when i came home i would go straight to her room ( habit ) and check on her , only to find she was gone . After doing this 4 years straight it going to be hard , i know this sound crazy but i am going to miss it . :shock: something about helping someone that gives you such a good feeling . Even though this has been the hardest thing, its also been best thing i have ever done !!

 

[saxman1]

Rob,has she been saved? (I apolagize if I have offended with this question)
You, your mother and family are in our prayers my friend.

 

[UtahRob]

Rob,has she been saved? (I apolagize if I have offended with this question)

NO WAY , you have not offended me !!

Yes . Our lord Jesus Christ and our heavenly father have always been a BIG part of our lives for my mom my dad and my family . MY youngest son ( Cody ) is serving a mission at this moment in New Hampshire . He loves it there . everyone he meets hunts , Moose , Bear or deer . My oldest son served a mission in S . Calif , Riverside . The church has been a big part of my life since i was 8 when my parents joined our church in Mountain Home Idaho, we have also raised all our children (4) in the church . Any time someone says they will keep me or my family in their prayer i feel so thankful . IT MEANS A LOT !!

you guys remember this photo ( posted it many times ) This is Cody My #1 hunting buddy . he will be back in june 2010 and boy do i miss him .

 

[gobbler getter]

Rob,my thougts and prayers are with you. you are a special person to put your life on hold to care for a loved one.make peace with your decision and think of the good times you have had with your mother

God Bless
Jim

 

[Bucker]

prayer

Lost Mom in April this yea. Hardest part is YOU dealing w/ her pain and suffering. They can petty well medicate them and make them comfy. I drove home to get my family for them to say good bye. Thought I had the time to do it all so I left and did a turn around and she died on the way back. I found out by cell phone,. Hang in there my friend. The Lord is with you. Just sometimes it is hard to beleive. Okay to be angry, but she will go to a better place.

 

[trigger8mm]

God bless you my friend.

 

[Semisane]

My thoughts are with you Rob. I lost my mom to Alzheimer's a few years back and know exactly what you are going through. I still miss her sweet smile, but know she's in a better place.

 

[hawgslayer]

Your in our thoughts and prayers. Keep the faith.

 

[Mark whiz]

Rob, I'll definitely have you and the whole family in prayers. I too have gone through this having lost both parents and 2 Father-in-Laws in very similiar fashion and I truly understand your pain.

Just hold fast to your faith in the Lord, knowing that He knows what it is like too and that He never leaves His people alone.

 

[TJJ]

Our thoughts and prayers are with ya Rob.

 

[deer655]

Rob you are in my prayers. I went thru the same thing as I watched my Mom die over a year and half with cancer. It killed me to watch her suffer as it got worse. I was trained by hospice to administer morphene to her. After one particularly bad night with her I actually thought of ending her suffering. I mentioned this to my wife and she said to watch how God would reveal himself in this situation and to not entertain ideas such as this. My mothers last days were incredible as her clarity came back for awhile and we had great conversations. On her last day God gave me an experience more moving then a thousand church services. As a nurse was reading my mothers favorite bible verse my mother just quit breathing and I knew she was at peace in the Lord's hands. My wife has wisdom beyond her years sometimes as she sure was right on this. Hang in there Rob.

 

[wishtofish]

Rob:

It's a tough situation, Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I went though somewhat the same with my father a few years back. He went into the University of Michigan Hospital (one of the best in the world) for surgery and nerver came out. The Doctors came to the family and basicly said there wasn't anything more they could do for him, he was on "Life Support" & they wanted to take him off.... We had to make the decision to remove him from the machines that were keeping him alive......... He was gone within a few hours.....

 

[Underclocked]

Rob, from my own experience I can assure you that you will ask yourself that question "did I do the right thing" from now on. Sometimes there simply is no right thing, only a path that offers no real choices.

The doctor must think it's the right thing to do or he wouldn't have even asked.

It's apparent that you love your Mom very much and want what is best for her. Be very strong and know that you have been a good and loyal son to her.

 

[Cajun]

Rob, you and your family will be in my prayers. I went through the same with my father. He had pancreatic cancer and wilted away to skin and bones because he couldn't eat or drink. He was a Christian man and was comfortable with dieing because he know he was going to a better place where there is no suffering and that gave us comfort. I pray for you and your family that you will take comfort knowing that your mom has been saved and that will ease the pain. May God Bless you all,

Mitch

 

[UtahRob]

Rob, from my own experience I can assure you that you will ask yourself that question "did I do the right thing" from now on. Sometimes there simply is no right thing, only a path that offers no real choices.

The doctor must think it's the right thing to do or he wouldn't have even asked.

It's apparent that you love your Mom very much and want what is best for her. Be very strong and know that you have been a good and loyal son to her.

He is a very good DR and has been working with Hospice patience for a while . He allowed his own mother to die this was . All i know is it going to be a long week or two and I just can't sleep . I keep going into my her room every few hrs seeing if she's ok , right now she just staring into space and also can't sleep . Not sure if she's in pain so i just gave her some liquid morphine . I just wish she would fall asleep and pass on .

 

[deer655]

One thing I did learn from my moms experience was that people from hospice of charlotte nc were flat out awesome. most were volunteers that would come to my mothers aid anytime no matter the hour. there is definitely a gift which these people posess that eases the misery of the family. try not to doubt your choices in your care for her. i have no doubt that when you meet your mom in heaven that her first words will be "thanks for loving me so much". moms are great like that.