My Loss

[rangerod]

In the last less than nine years I have lost seven brothers and sisters all but two to Ahlzeimers desease. I come from a large Catholic family with only four of us left.I'm the only male left and my sisters are so very precious to me. My youngest sister Betsy was the youngest to die from the dreaded disease at the age of sixty four. Her husband Dan has a golf outing fund raiser every July called Battle for Betsy. Last year the event raised 50K. This past Sunday my sister Kathy died from this awful thing.I take my comfort from God.I guess I just had to talk about it.

 

[snapbang]

Sorry ranger, I only had 1 brother and he died 27 years ago. Ill say a prayer for you and your family.

 

[DGH]

That bites,

Hang in there,

God Bless you and your Family

 

[MrTom]

Condolences to you and your sisters. That's a horrid disease.

 

[CatamountRob]

What a terrible disease and a heartbreaking story. I’m very sorry that you’ve had to go through so much pain.

 

[brownisdown]

Sorry for your loss my friend.I lost one brother back in June and one 12 years ago in July and they both had throat cancer.

 

[deermanok]

Very sorry for your loss.

Jim

 

[Tc280]

Sorry for your loss, I’ll pray for you.

 

[Shorty]

My heart hurts for you Ranger. Thats an awful lot of pain to go through. I am glad you believe in God as it’s a way to keep our sanity. We all will meet our maker in the end, may you get strength from within and know you are not alone.

 

[Outdoornut1]

Very sad situation. I hope your faith heals your pain.

 

[dwm]

Very sorry for your loss

 

[Bratch]

Sorry for you loss.

My MIL is dealing with it at 68, it’s my first experience and is a horrible disease for everyone involved.

 

[10acres]

Very sorry for your loss. Prayers.

 

[GUN NUT]

Sorry to hear that and yes it is a terrible disease my wife has dementia and it is hard on the entire family . It seems to have hit your family very hard and I pray that it passes you by .

 

[retrieverman]

Prayer to you @rangerod
I’ve lost a Grandmother and a cousin and have an uncle with it now. In my opinion, that disease is a fate worse than death.

 

[WP79Vet]

So sorry to hear about your losses, Rangerod. You've been through an incredible amount of pain, and it so unfair when any family takes hit after hit from some terrible disease. Alzheimer's is especially cruel because its victims slowly become different people, and it's almost like watching the person we knew and loved die a little bit more each day.

Both of my parents developed dementia - probably due to Alzheimer's - in their early 80s. When they could no longer live on their own, I became their care giver/manager and the trustee who managed their three farms and all their other business and assets. For the next 12 years I had to watch the parents I knew and loved die a little bit more each and every day. It was incredibly hard on me in every way, particularly when the time demands put an end to my first retirement career in community service ministry, particularly when my first wife decided to leave with everything she and her lawyer could get their fingers on, and particularly when my brother and sister decided that their role in caring for Mom and Dad was to hire a team of lawyers to dig through everything I did, create endless legal and administrative requirements, sue at the smallest opportunity, and waste incredible amounts of my time and our family's money . But even after all of that, I would do it again, because it was an awesome opportunity to give something back to the parents who gave so much to me.

Thanks for speaking up, and I pray that God will bring you comfort and the strength to carry on. I can't tell you how many times I literally screamed at God and demanded to know why something awful was happening. But looking back, God really did carry my through it, and He has restored far, far more than was ever taken away. Every single day I marvel at where I'm living, the second wife I'm living with, and the health and strength and financial resources to do so many of the work and recreational things that I love in life. I pray that God will do the same for you.

 

[rangerod]

Thanks to all the fine members on the forum. I have felt for a long time that God is guiding me.

 

[Wilyote1]

My heart goes out to you Ranger. My condolences to you.

 

[MrTom]

When they could no longer live on their own, I became their care giver/manager and the trustee who managed their three farms and all their other business and assets. For the next 12 years I had to watch the parents I knew and loved die a little bit more each and every day. It was incredibly hard on me in every way, particularly when the time demands put an end to my first retirement career in community service ministry, particularly when my first wife decided to leave with everything she and her lawyer could get their fingers on, and particularly when my brother and sister decided that their role in caring for Mom and Dad was to hire a team of lawyers to dig through everything I did, create endless legal and administrative requirements, sue at the smallest opportunity, and waste incredible amounts of my time and our family's money . But even after all of that, I would do it again, because it was an awesome opportunity to give something back to the parents who gave so much to me.

WP, what you did for your folks was selfless. What your Ex-wife and other family did was selfish. You will be rewarded. But it never ceases to amaze me just how cruel, stingy, selfish, bitter and underhanded close family can be. And I've seen this first hand.

My grandmother had a sizeable estate, of which my mother had power of attorney over. An aunt and an uncle decided that they were going to help themselves to her estate just prior to my grandmother's death, took her from the nursing home to the bank and proceeded to empty accounts and start the transfer of real property. Thankfully a bank officer called my mother asking if she was aware that this process had begun, and she simply sat there shocked and said no..... that she had power, not those two, and that all real property matters had been handled years before and neither of those two would be getting any more than what had already been dealt to them, real or monetarily. The authorities were called in and the two of them had some serious discussions with them and after my mom took all her legal powers to the bank, the two of them were charged with crimes related to theft and fraud. A cousin who lived locally had to bail her 90 something year old mother out of jail. Another cousin, and get this, a detective from Long Beach, California, where my uncle also resided, had to fly here to bail his old man out of jail and then help him answer to the judge. In court my mother preferred not to press charges but those two still had to pay court costs and processing fees.

I held power of attorney over my mother's holdings and her and in the end used it to un-plug her machine after a heart attack left her brain dead.

 

[Wilyote1]

Both of my parents developed dementia - probably due to Alzheimer's - in their early 80s. When they could no longer live on their own, I became their care giver/manager and the trustee

I am the caregiver to my parents at the moment. My dad is 92 and my Mom is 88. My mom has dementia. Fortunately, I have a good safety net. My wife is a godsend with everything going on. My two sons help when needed. Only one sibling creates any drama. We have a legal mess in the making though. There have been some very special times in the law few years I wouldn't trade for anything. WP79Vet, I understand